-Susie Q. –
-Bobbi Lu –
In December, I was recovering from having my confidence rocked. Work was making me anxious, I didn’t have enough and I was getting kicked while I was down. I was in this mindset that more work would fix it. “It” being the proverbial “it”- all things would be righted if I just had one more contract or ten more hours per week with Fill in the Blank Company. I was also bored, I felt stifled in my life prospects and was beginning to feel like a permanent third wheel as nearly all of my friends are married.
Then things started to pick up and I felt like I was standing on my own two feet. I got back to being comfortable and not panicking about my identity being tied to my work, or worse, to my paycheck. By February, I was back to a place where I felt contented with who I was.
And just when I was settling in and getting comfortable, life as I knew it got shocked, shaken up, and I had to scramble to get my feet under me in and still keep living my life which was being inconvenienced by something pretty great. I guess, I’ll just say it. I was sitting at a bar with Bobbi Lu, discussing life, the universe, and everything when life, the universe, and everything decided to hit me with a freight train in the form of a very charming and incredibly fun man.
So there I was thinking I had my shit sorted when life took a sharp turn and suddenly I was headed in a different direction, one I hadn’t expected, with new company, and a slew of emotions that I swore I had scorched and burned. Isn’t that just the way it goes?
During this past six months, I’ve had some high highs and real triumphs in my professional life. Creatively, I have been persistent. Personally, it has been a wild ride, filled with love and friendship and excitement, but I have also been confronting loss and the aching sadness that accompanies it.
Through all of this, I’ve learned one thing: I’ve got no fucking clue what’s coming next and I’m nearly OK with that.
I’m still wondering. I’m still lost. I’m still searching.
Check back in after another 6 months – maybe life will have sorted something out by then.
P.S. – I take full credit for the awesome “meet cute” mentioned in Susie Q’s blog over there – all me people, all me. 🙂